Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at Morris amd remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered, "To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."

A young man says "Dad, just got my driver's licence and would like to use the farmily car." Father replies, "O.K., but first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we"ll see." Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the housewith his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin. How about letting me use the car?" Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair." Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair too." Father replies, "Yes, son you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went."